They Always Come Back
by cicel94
Summary: 2 or 3 years after Konoha has defeated the Akatsuki for once and for all, the world is now at peace. At least that's what they think, the Akatsuki have come back from the dead...as Zombies! Rated for language.
1. Chapter 1

Konoha was finally peaceful unlike it had been for a long while. Naruto waited silently at the park unusually quiet. The breeze blew his hair slightly as Sakura and newly returned Sasuke came up to join him.

"Hey Naruto," Sakura chimed. She wasn't wearing her normal ninja wear but a pair of jeans, flip-flops, and a cute tank top. Sasuke was also wearing casual cloths: a plain T-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes.

"Hey Sasuke I'm glad you stopped being all emo and self-centered," Naruto joked

"SHUT UP! I wasn't emo I told you I needed to avenge my family, and now I have Itachi is dead…and so is the rest of the Akatsuki! Well besides that swirly masked freak, who new a person could run b that /b fast!"

"Yeah it is good the Akatsuki is dead, no more running and now most of the world is at peace…" Naruto said coolly.

"Well yeah Naruto but they still extracted the Kyuubi from you! Anyone could still use…that contraption!" Sakura stated a little concerned.

"Sakura, chill! Who's gonna know how to use it anyway? No one! We are ok!"

The Akatsuki Lair:

Tobi stood on his finger silently starring at it deciding when to make his move. Slowly he removed his mask revealing a near perfect face with Sharingan eyes. He smiled, preformed a few minor hand seals and the Giant Machine kicked to life and with all nine tailed beasts it began working.

The ground around began moving then a half rotted hand broke the surface. Slowly a tongue came out of the hands palm. Tobi smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

The figure slowly rose from the ground revealing its full almost decayed body. It had tangled up blonde hair covered in dirt, it was pulled back in a high ponytail w/ bangs covering one eye and the rest of the hair hung down. It was wearing a tattered tank top and Akatsuki pants. With barely visible black nail polish. It had ocean blue eyes with faint eyeliner.

"uuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnn" it groaned a manly deep voice, rubbed its one eye annoyed. It looked around suspiciously then down at its self seeing its half decayed body…

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! What happened to me, un!" It screamed clearly awakening the other figures.

"Ahaha…look at you Deidara you look like shit," One of the figures said this one with tattered grayish hair that looked like it had once been gelled back neatly, and purple eyes

"Yeah well you don't look to lovely yourself, un." Deidara commented back causing the gray haired figure to look down at itself and also screamed.

"What happened to my fucking hot self!!!" It whined falling to its knees sobbing

"Hidan! Shut up!" Another figure said this one was decayed too, actually most of the figures there were decayed. It was clearly covered in stitches; it had black stringy hair with the most interesting eyes. The iris was green but the white of the eye was instead black and it seemed to be missing pupils.

Seeing his old partner Tobi jumped off the finger he had been perched on, slid down the palm of the giant hand and landed right in front of Deidara and gave him a huge hug.

"Oh Sempai, I missed you so much!" Tobi said squeezing his friend even tighter until he snapped in half.

"Tobiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Deidara boomed (no pun intended -.-) "Put me back together this instant!!"

"Well, well Deidara now tell me. Don't you think art should be eternal?" An unfamiliar voice said. Tobi and Deidara looked over to see an attractive redhead step out of the shadows. He was the only figure that wasn't rotted or decaying.

"HE'S BEATUTIFUL!!!! GET HIM!!" Hidan screamed jumping on the redhead and proceeding to knaw on his arm.

"Get of me you stupid religious zombie!" The redhead screamed and shook his arm till Hidans head popped off then threw it across the room. "Ok," The redhead said turning his attention back to Deidara. "Deidara, tell me that art is eternal and then I just might, u just might /u , turn you into some of my beautiful art." The redhead said smiling

"Sasori…I…I…" Deidara began while looking slowly down at himself and back at Sasori. "F-Fine art is eternal."

"Good." Sasori said smiling and led the decaying Deidara out of the room.

"Enough with all this stupid nonsense!" A voice rung through the room, causing everyone to look up and their leader, Pein.

Konoha:

Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and Sai sat at the ramen shop eating there ramen not even prepared for the threat that was about to be unleashed on them.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey Sasuke how have you been? I haven't seen you since you left 5 years ago" Kakashi said while still reading his book.

"Hi sensei how have things been going…?" Sasuke replied half heartidly. Him and Kakashi didn't seem to be making up all that well and personally Sasuke thought his old sensei was just as bad a Jairiya: one big pervert.

They were over at a popular tea shop, Naruto and Sakura had put this together. They had thought Sasuke and Kakashi should still be friends, Sasuke thought this was b.s.

"Oh Sasuke-kun!!!" a girly voice screamed from behind him, he turned to see a blonde girl standing there she had her long hair pulled back in a pony tail and seemed to be trying her best pose on him, it wasn't working. "How have things been going! You thought I had forgotten about you didn't you?!?" She cried to him, he had hoped she had forgotten about him.

"Ino…what do you want?!?" He said rather annoyed

"Well I just wanted to join you!" She said in her girliest voice then glomped him.

"Well..." Kakashi said, "I better be leaving, I'll ummm see you around." He said looking and him and Ino. "You two have fun."

"NO!!! SENSEI WAIT!" Sasuke cried just as Kakashi jumped off. "DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH…WITH…HER!!!!!!!"

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Sakura stared and herself in the mirror. Inspecting her face for zits or other disfigurations.

Its all right Sakura you can do this Inner Sakura told her apparently trying to comfort her, today was the day she was going to ask Sasuke out she just hoped Ino-pig didn't beat her to the punch.

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Naruto stared confidently at the targets.

"Ok now Naruto I want you to try to hit these targets, just aim the arrow and shoot," Gai explained to him.

"Got it! I'm gonna shoot this arrow and hit a bulls eye on the first time! Believe It!" Naruto shouted enthusiastically. He raised the the bow, closed one eye aimed and presicely as he could and released.

"AAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" A scream bellowed through the trees. Naruto looked in the direction of his teacher, Gai, to see the arrow inbeded right in the place the sun don't shine.

"E-e-enough training…t-t-today, augh…." Gai cried falling to the ground.


	4. Chapter 4

Akatsuki Lair:

"So this is what the contraption Sasori made does, it brings the dead back to life, eh?" Pein began "He can be realy useful to the Akatsuki. Now since as far they are concerned all of us are dead. Does anyone have any ideas?"

"Ummm…yeah." Hidan said

"What?" Pein asked semi-intrested

"We could have Sasori turn is into his 'Art'" Hidan stated doing the little quotation things with his fingers when he said art.

"Yes that could be a little useful," Pein mumbled while rubbing his chin. "But! That was not what I was asking for I was looking for I was looking for ideas on how to attack Konoha."

"Oooh! Oooh! Pick Tobi! Pick Tobi! Tobi has an idea!" Tobi yelled while raising his hand high in the air.

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Deidara stood there semi-bored waiting for Sasori to finish up the puppet of him when he casualy glanced over his partners shoulders.

"Hey, un! What are you doing?!?" He screamed "I'm not a girl the last time I checked! Why are you making me one?!?"

"Well…" Sasori said quietly before turning his head around 180 degrees. "I think you would look better as a girl!" He commented sweetly before turning back to his work.

"HELL NO! YOU ARE MAKING ME A GUY!" He screamed agrily while clenching his fists causing a few of the fingers to snap off.

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Peined sighed slightly annoyed "Yes Tobi what's your idea?" Pein said dully.

"Tobi was thinking since most of us are zombies that we could have a zombie attack on Konoha!" Tobi cried with delight.

"Yeah we fucking could! Kakuzu you could like walk around going, Hearts………….HEARTS!" Hidan laughed doing a terrible impression of his partner.

"Oh yeah. Ha. Ha. Forgot to laugh" Kakuzu stated sarcastically before snapping Hidans arm off and proceeding to beat him with it.

"Tobi! That is the DUMBEST thing I have ever heard of!" Pein screamed

"I don't think it sounds that bad actually sounds kind of fun, I would love to see the look on my little brothers face if we did this." A deep voice said from the back of the room, everyone turned to see a decayed man with raggy black hair pulled back into a low pony tail, he had deep red sharingan eyes.

"I-Itachi! Since when did you like to have…FUN!" A figure standing next to him cried. He had blue skin with yellow eyes, Dark blue spiky hair and gills.

"meh…" Was the response Itachi gave him.

"Kisame, surprisingly I agree with you, Itachi, you usually are one to be more wise and devise more…devious plots!" Pein responded shocked.

At that moment Deidara came out of the room Sasori had led him to, and looked better than ever. This time with two eyes, but for some reason he was frowning.

"Sempai? Whats wrong? Can Tobi help, Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi asked quickly

"Ugh, No Tobi you can't help me." Deidara responded annoyed.

Tobi blinked and looked Deidara over carefully. (remember Tobi took off his mask?)

"Sempai! You're a girl!" Tobi laughed and so did everyone else.


	5. Chapter 5

In Konoha:

Sakura quietly walked up to Sasuke blushing slightly she had tried as hard as she could the past month to not seem like a fangirl. To her it seemed like it was working.

"Hey Sasuke…" She said quietly sounding like Hinata

"Hi." He said coldly

"Whats wrong? You seem to be returning to the way you were…"

"I have a feeling the Akatsuki is back, but who am I kidding" He said waving his hand. "The Akatsuki is dead. I was there when they were killed." He said before walking off, leaving Sakura there alone.

"Yeah…you were…"Sakura said _'Damn it missed our chance!'_ Inner Sakura yelled. She sighed then plopped down on the bench

Sasuke walked silently away from Sakura. 'Stupid fangirl' he thought as he kept walking. He had his eyes closed and wasn't realy paying attention to his surroundings.

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Lee sat quietly waiting in the bushes for Sasuke to come up. 'How could Sasuke be so mean to beautiful Sakura!' were his thoughts. Sasuke was finally at the mark he had set.

"Tree no Jutsu" He whispered while making a few handsigns and a tree immediately appeared in front of the unsuspecting Sasuke and he walked straight into it.

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Naruto walked in silence, he felt realy bad for not living up to his word and making a bulls eye on the first shot. And even worse for Gai.

Naruto finally arrived to his destination: the Ramen Shop. Enough Said.

That night everyone had a nice sleep, well except for Gai.


	6. Chapter 6

At The Akatsuki Lair

"Shut The Fuck Up Tobi!!!" Deidara screamed

"Wait, so Deidara? Sasori made you a girl?" Hidan asked

"…maybe…" Deidara responded quietly

"He did?!? HAHAHAHAHA!" Hidan laughed, eventually resorting to rolling on the floor still laughing.

"Its not that funny!" Deidara blushed before kicking Hidan and running off. At that time Sasori stepped out of that room.

"Who's next?" He asked. Everyone backed away. "Hidan? How about you?"

"FUCK NO!" He screamed still lying on the ground

"Well why not? Weren't you the one complaining on how ugly you were?" He asked innocently

"I was, but I don't want to be no fucking girl!" He screamed again

"FINE! THEN NONE OF YOU ALL WILL BE ART!" Sasori screamed before stomping back to the room he had just stepped out of.

"Oooook, so. Who's with the zombie plan?" Pein asked trying to change the subject.

"What zombie plan?" Deidara asked rolling his eyes.

"The plan was we have a zombie outbreak on Konoha…I wonder what happens when we bite someone…" Pein said maniacally while rubbing his hands together.

"Beats me." Deidara said before jumping onto his finger and dozing off.

"Leader…" Itachi said while walking up to him "I think the-" Itachi said before tripping over Hidan and snapping his feet off.

"Hidan! Get off the floor!" Kakuzu snapped at his partner, and kicked a hole in him.

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Tobi stood in the corner thinking about something when it hit him.

"Leader-sama, where is Zetsu-san at?" Tobi asked quietly.

Everyone scanned the ground carefully, looking for any possible thing that could be him.

"_Mph, mhp, mhp, mhp_...**MHP**" a muffled voice said behind everyone, making them turn around to see the decaying top half of Zetsu's fly trap above ground.

"Zetsu-san? Is that you?" Tobi asked intrigued.

"_Mph,Mhp,Mhp_...**Mhp, Mph, Mph**" The trap said again.

"Tobi will get Zetsu-san out!" Tobi cried running over to the trap and roughly pulling on it, until it eventually snapped off. "No! Zetsu-san! Tobi is sorry, let Tobi help! Tobi is a good boy"

"**MPH,MHP,MHP,MHP**" Zetsu screamed from under ground.

"Tobi! Stop trying to 'help'" Kisame stated, trying to keep Tobi from ripping his friend up anymore. "We can't pull him out, he must be dug out."

"Great. We have to fucking dig him out! Now what to we fucking use!" Hidan said angrily finally standing up. Yet still forgetting about Itachi who's feet where still disconnected from him.

"…hmmm…lets see…" Kisame said, leaning up against his samahada. Hatching an idea in everyone's head but his. "Hey! Wait! Why is everyone looking at me?!?" He asked a little scared.

"Kisame-san, will you let Tobi see your samahada?" Tobi asked as everyone else began to crowd in on Kisame and his sword.


	7. Chapter 7

In Konoha: ya know what? Screw Konoha! Back to the Akatsuki Lair!

"NOOOO!!!!" Kisame cried tears welling up his eyes. "You can't use samahada!!!!"

"Geez, your more annoying then Tobi, un." Deidara mumbled as him and Tobi restrained Kisame from retrieving his beloved sword.

Kakuzu, being the strongest and biggest of them all, was carefully digging Zetsu out of the ground. Slowly he uncovered Zetsu's head.

" **Who was the idiot who tore part of me off** " Zetsu's black half screamed as it was uncovered.

"It was Tobi, Zetsu-san! Tobi is sorry, Tobi won't do it again! Tobi is a good boy!" He cried to his friend.

" _Oh…well you are a good boy for trying to get me out_ " Zetsu's white half said trying to cheer up Tobi,

"Thank you Zetsu-san." Tobi cried back hugging what part of Zetsu was uncovered

"TOBI! Get out of the way! You can hug Zetsu later! By the way, this is going to cost all of you!" Kakuzu screamed still working diligently to dig Zetsu out.

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In the mean time a figure quietly snuck into the lair.

"Kukuku now that the Akatsuki is dead I can go see what treachery the machine Sasori built can do! Kukuku!" The figure said revealing his face. He had long black hair with pale skin and what looked like lavander eyeshadow that was smeared perfectly down his nose. It was Micheal Jackson, I mean Orochimaru.

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Itachi was the first to notice the intruder.

"Wait." Itachi said in a deep warning voice. "I see someone, one you go check it out."

"Fuck no! Why don't you go check it out?" Hidan responded sarcastically although he knew Itachi couldn't since his feet had be conveniently snapped off.

"I'll go check it out…besides I want to see what happens when I bite someone" He mumbles to him self and smiled and evil grin before hopping off.

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Orochimaru walked slowly up to the contraption, but in a millisecond a figure was standing in front of him in the shadows.

"Who do you think you are? Intruding in the Akatsuki lair like that!" The figure asked

"Orochimaru." He responded stupidly.

"Hehe well Orochimaru you thought you could walk out of the Akatsuki and live?!?" The figure asked and in a second had latched his teeth into Orochimaru's arm.

"Leader-" Orochimaru started before his entire body went limp, his head flopped over and then he fell to the ground.

'Hmmm, so that's was biting people does, kills em, COOL!' Pein thought, but in a second Orochimaru stood up his yellow eyes hazed over and looking rather dead.

"Sasuke……..Saaaaaaaaasuke……..Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasuke……." He said before walking off, and leaving the lair.

"hmmm, ok anyway." Pein said before running over to join the others. "So? How are things coming with Zetsu?" He asked.

"Pretty good-Hey! Look a coin!" Kakuzu said with excitement, then threw the sword he was holding behind him. The sword then hit Kisame in the head causing his head to fly off.

"Samahada!!!!!!!" Kisame's head cried before hitting the floor across the room.


	8. Chapter 8

Kisame sobbed as his head flew across the room. It hit the ground and rolled right in front of another figure. The one was clearly a girl, she had short blue hair, crystal blue eyes, faded eye shadow, and a perfectly folded paper flower in her hair.

"Konan, there you are" Pein said "I was wondering where you went."

"Why were you wondering she's been there the whole time…unless…" Hidan started " u You /u like her!" He laughed causing a crimson red blush to spread across Peins face.

"I DON'T LIKE HER SHE'S A VALUABLE MEMBER TO THE AKATSUKI!" He screamed still blushing

"Then why are you blushing?" Deidara teased

"He's blushing because your embarrassing him" Konan screamed at Deidara "and he likes me" She murmured then smiled and walked up to join the rest of the Akatsuki

"Wait?!? Your not gonna leave me here are you?!?" Kisame cried as she walked off.

"We need to have a good meeting on what we are going to do for the Zombie Plan." Pein said with authority.

"Oooh! Tobi thinks we should call it Operation Zombie!" Tobi said with a huge smile on his face, Zetsu nodded with a agreement.

"I think we should put my feet back on!" Itachi said hatefully, giving everyone the evil eye.

" **DON'T INTERUPT TOBI!** " Zetsu's black half screamed at Itachi " _You were saying?_ " His white half finished off.

"We could first have Itachi kill the guards or have Sasori turn one of the guards into puppets, then after that we must stay in hiding until the precise moment when no one seems to be caring or is at ease. During the attack biting people is a nessecity, by doing that we are lowing the number of people we will probably have to fight. Since if you weren't paying attention to leader-sama then you wouldn't have noticed by biting a person it then turns them also into a Zombie. Tobi also thinks that Sempai could fly us to Konoha on one of his giant birds!" Tobi cried in excitement. Everyone was speechless.

"Ok, What the fuck?" Hidan asked slightly annoyed. "Shouldn't the leader be making a plan especially, one like that, instead of the bumbling idiot of the Akatsuki?!?" He turned to look at Pein quisicaly.

"Well…erm…uhh…he came up with it first?" Pein responded shrugging slightly, and putting on the please-let-this-stupid-lie-work face. It wasn't working. "Ok well since Tobi has come up with a nice plan then I suggest we go with the plan…" Pain started "AND THAT SASORI SHOULD HEAR ABOUT IT TOO!!!!!" Pein turned around and screamed at the room Sasori was in. That time Sasori walked out of the room an annoyed expression set across his face.

"What?" his voice rather annoyed and dark.

"Well, if you going to be like that then we can just leave you here!" Pein stated annoyed at Sasori.

"I'm just fine with that!" Sasori responded angrily before stomping back to the room he just stepped out of.

"Don't you god damnit go back in there" Pein screamed at Sasori just as the door slammed shut.


	9. Chapter 9

Pein angrily stomped over to the room and swung the door open. He looked inside and a look of absolute horror spread across his face. Slowly closing the door, he turned around.

"What's wrong leader-sama?!?" Tobi asked concerned. "What did Sasori-san do? Was he being a bad boy? Can Tobi help?!? Tobi is a good boy!" he sputtered out, still quite concerned for his leader, when Pein turned to face him.

"Y-yes Tobi y-y-you can h-help m-m-me out….p-p-p-please be l-l-leader for a b-b-bit…" Pein said before curling up in a ball on the ground, shaking for a few seconds then crawling off.

"Ok! What. The. Hell." Hidan stated at he walked over to the room Sasori was in. "What could Sasori be doing that could make the leader do th- Oh. My. God." Hidan said as his eyes widened when he took a short peek in the room Sasori was in. Hidan then walked slowly across the room and over by Kakuzu, he then began to slowly pray to his god. At that moment Sasori burst out of the room he had been in. He didn't appear to be wearing anything other than his Akatsuki jacket which had been sloppily thrown on.

"Would you idiots stop bursting into my room!" Sasori screamed at them before turning swiftly on his heel and walking back to the room he had been in.

"**Who said that was his room** ..._Yes who did say it was his room_ " Zetsu's asked a little weirded out.

"I don't give a crap!" Itachi screamed angrily from the floor. "Just put my fucking feet back on!" He said before throwing the most immature thing he could do: a temper tantrum.

"STOP!" Someone shouted from behind them. Everyone turned to see a very annoyed Tobi. "I am the leader now! So I suggest you stop diddle doddling around and we get to work on a plan to take down Konoha!"

"Wow. I miss the old Tobi…" Deidara mumbled before slumping off.

"Sempai! No slumping! Itachi! No lying on the ground! Kisame! No being headless! Hidan! No being a dumbass! Kakuzu! Put Itachi and Kisame back together!" Tobi said as he started ordering everyone around. In the mean time everyone was complaining. In a short time of Tobi's surprisingly strict orders everyone was in the best condition they could be. "Ok, know Sempai?" Tobi asked

"Yes."

"I need you to stuff none exploding clay into the cracks of that door" Tobi said pointing to the door that Sasori was behind.

"Why would I do that to my danna?" Deidara asked skeptically.

"Whatever Sasori is doing in there I don't want to know and I don't want anyone to know."

"Wait!" Kakuzu began. "Wouldn't Sasori starve in there if we were to lock him in there?"

Deidara turned around to look at him. "Danna wouldn't starve, he's a puppet." He said before turning back around and getting started on the door.

"Ok now Konan?" He said and she stood up to face him in recognition. "I need you to create a few paper figurines to fly us to Konoha and I want all of you cleaning up the Akatsuki lair before we leave, Got it?" Everyone started at him with blank faces.

"NOW!" He screamed and in half a millisecond everyone was diligently working.


	10. Chapter 10

Tobi stood smiling on his finger as he watched his fellow members diligently working. Kakuzu was busy sewing Itachi's legs back on so he would finally shut up! Konan was busy working on a origami figurine to fly the decaying Akatsuki, and Deidara, who had finished with the door was working on a bird to fly him and Tobi there. Everyone was cleaning the lair.

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"Stupid Tobi," Hidan muttered as he was sweeping. "I've been a member way longer than he has ever been, and he just comes here happy as he can be and what happens? He becomes leader like that!"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!" Kakuzu shouted back as he finished up on Itachi's leg, then he went to retrieve Kisame's head from across the room.

"Fiiiiiiiiiiine." Hidan said in a whiney voice before walking off.

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Konan and Deidara stood up as they finished there work and looked it over in happiness.

"Very nice work, Deidara" Konan complimented looking over at his work.

"You too, origami can be art to I guess." He smiled. Her eyes widened a little and she walked off him shock.

'Was he just hitting on me? Pinochio turn him into a girl?!?' She thought in horror and began running over to Tobi to tell him she had finished. Deidara also stood up and went to tell Tobi that he had finished his work.

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A short bit after Deidara and Konan had announced to Tobi that they had finished their work he called a meeting.

"Everyone finish what you are doing then get up to your platforms" Tobi called out to the Akatsuki from his finger, and only after a few seconds everyone was nicely standing on there fingers.

"Tobi…" Itachi started "Are we getting near to beginning out invasion on Konoha?"

"Actually Itachi," Tobi said smiling "We are fixing to depart for Konoha, Deidara has created a bird for me and him to fly on ahead of you all and Konan has made up an oragami…" He said turning around to look at the figurine "butterfly." He finished

"WHAT?!?" Hidan burst out rage clearly seen through his face. "We are going to ride to Konoha on a fucking butterfly! That is the gayest thing I have ever heard of! Oh yeah the bad ass Akatsuki comes in to kill Konoha on a butt-"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP!" Konan screamed at him

"Everyone, calm down." Tobi said

"I already am cal-" Itachi began

"Be quiet! Ok so none the less the Zombies a.k.a. you guys are going to fly into Konoha on Konan's origami butterfly. Everyone remember the plan?" He asked as everyone shook their heads no.

Tobi spent the next few minutes re-explaining the plan to them, then had them pack up and get ready to take off.

"Lets go." Tobi said just before they took off.

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Sasori had just finished his "work" and went to go join the rest of the Akatsuki. Just as he was starting to open the door he realized it was jammed or stuck.

"Hey can someone open the door!" He called out. "Stop ignoring me! Someone open the door! Help! I'm locked in here! HEEEEEELLLLLLLP!" He screamed hopelessly.


	11. Chapter 11

Tobi looked down as the trees past quickly below him. Turning around he looked back at the rest of the Akatsuki. They didn't look to happy.

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"**Waaaah**..._How do we stay on this_" Zetsu cried grabbing the paper and ripping it slightly. He looked up at Kisame who was riding his Samahada like a surfboard on the origami butterfly. "**What the hell**"

"Just riding the waves!" Kisame said in a surfer tone. "Sheyeah!" Zetsu looked back wide eyed before walking over and sitting by Kakuzu.

"_Hey_" His white half said casually. He looked over at Kakzuz who was turning a slight shade a green. "**Are you gonna be o-** " He was cut off as Kakuzu leaned over the edge and vomited. "_**Eww**_"

"I feel siiiiiiick…." He trailed off before flopping over onto the origami butterfly. His tongue-like thing sticking out. "uuuuuuuuugh"

"Haha! The Greedy Bastard almost puked on Plant Freak!" Hidan died laughing almost rolling off the butterfly.

"**Shut up**" Zetsu's black half screamed as he towered over Hidan his half remaining fly trap seeming extremely high.

"Ummm…Zetsu…Please don't stand up, I don't want anyone falling off." Konan said turning slightly around to look at him.

"_Very well then_." His white half said decided to sit down by Itachi but when receiving a death glare he scooted over by still 'surfing' Kisame.

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Pein shuddered in complete horror. His eyes wide and he was shaking. 'my eyes…my poor eyes…' he thought shuddering.

"SOMEBODY LET ME OUT!!!!!!" Sasori screamed from in his room. Pein had been listening to him complain all day. "Pleeeeease! Somebody! Stop ignoring me! I was just curious to what it was liiiiike!" Sasori cried starting to sob a little too.

"N-N-NO!" Pein screamed while curling up into more of a ball.

"Leader? Leader! Thank god! Please let me out!" Sasori screamed from behind the door.

"No! Never! You sick bastard!" Pein screamed

"WHAT?!? Please!"

"NO!"

"PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! I'm begging you!"

"No!"

The room when quiet as Sasori pondered on what he should do if Pein didn't seem to want to let him out.

"Fine! I will just find my own way out!" Sasori said turning around in his room. He looked over all his puppets deciding which one he would use to break himself out. "Hmmm…Which one…Which one…" He pondered then selected the one he would use: The third kazekage.

'What is he doing in there.' Pein wondered sweat dripping down the side of his face.

A loud crash disturbed the quiet peace the lair had been giving off.

"Leader! Where are you!" Sasori said as he stepped out of the room. A frown on his perfect face. He looked around the lair carefully. 'hmmm…where could he be…' he thought as he stepped behind the contraption and came face to face with Pein.

"There you are." He said smiling.


	12. Chapter 12

Sasori looked down at Pein's swirling eyes frowning. The leader was curled up on the floor a look of horror on his face.

"What is wrong with you? Your pathetic." Sasori said despise in his eyes. "You are the great leader of Akatsuki and your see me doing something not so right and you just fall to pieces. Pathetic."

Pein adjusted himself so that he was on his stomach. He gazed at the ground silently for a few minutes before turning his head to semi-face Sasori.

"You are right…" He began standing up and stared the puppet in the face. "I was being weak…That was not the right way to re-act." Sasori looked at him slightly for a bit.

"I know I am right…" He admitted smiling slightly but quickly turned to a frown "Now. Get the hell away from me this feels weird." He said taking a step away from Pein and beginning to walk around the Akatsuki lair.

"What are you looking for?" Pein asked as he stepped out from behind the machine following Sasori. Sasori turned to face him standing a couple of meters away. 

"Leader…where is the rest of the Akatsuki?" He asked furrowing his eyebrows. "I was…busy…apparently when they left…." He trailed off before stepping over the machine and stroking the side of it.

"…they…went…"

"Yes?"

"They already…" Pein began gulping slightly. "They already left for Konoha…"

"What?!?! Why didn't they bring me?!?! I am powerful member!!!!!!!!!" Sasori yelled at the leader. A mixture of anger and rage filled his perfect face.

Pein stared off to his left his eyes half lids. "They didn't want to disturb you…" He said.

"Great!" Sasori turned around and began walking. "Now how are we going to get to Konoha! I haven't gotten a new puppet in ages!" He looked back at Pein annoyed.

"Well…uhhh…why don't we go to Konoha…?" Pein shrugged.

"How?" Sasori looked back at him and bored look on his face.

"I…heard both Deidara and Konan had made something to fly them to Konoha on."

"I'm listening" Sasori smiled.

"Maybe they made another one to fly us there on…" He trailed off while looking around the lair for one of the flying things.

"Where is it? I don't see a clay bird…and what does Konan make?" He asked frowning.

"oh…uhhh…Konan makes origami butterflys…"

"What! I am not flying to Konoha on a butterfly!"

"Heheh…that's just what Hidan said" Pein trailed off as Sasori's frown turned to anger. "Let's check out side, we need to make it to Konoha soon." Pein said as he began walking towards the entrance to the Akatsuki lair. Sasori frowned as he followed his leader outside.

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Outside the creek running nearbye caused a ghostly enssence to the now dark world. The few creatures awake echoeing through the dense area. A small clearing just large enough to fit one of Deidara's birds or Konan's butterflies was just out of view of the lair. Pein and Sasori slowly made there way through the small shrubs and trees to get the clearing. Sasori frowned as they arrived to see nothing there for flight.

"Leader. We have nothing to fly on. How exactly are we making it to Konoha?" Sasori asked looking over at his silent friend. Pein shrugged it response to Sasori's question. "God Dammit! Leader! You should have a back up plan!"


	13. Chapter 13

"I'm sorry I don't have a god dammit back up plan!" Pein screamed back at Sasori finally deciding to take back control. Sasori flinched a little from this surprising out burst and stepped back giving Pein some space. "Now go get one of your fuckin puppets that can carry us there at a fast rate!" He continued and Sasori sprinted back to the Akatsuki lair finally scared and not wanting to get in his infuriated leader's way.

Sasori came back in one of his oldest and most famous puppets, Hiroku. A puppet large enough to hold Sasori's small body and protect him. The long almost endless scorpion tail provided a large boundrie which almost no enemy could cross. Its emotionless face provided no clue to what the puppet master was thinking. To Sasori this puppet was one of his ultimate weapons. Pein frowned at the sight of Hiroku.

"What is wrong, leader?" Sasori questioned from inside Hiroku.

"That puppet is too large and noticable. Not only that but its movements are much to slow. Get a new one. Not only that but both of us trying to get in that thing. It could snap me in half." Pein said gazing at his decayed arm.

Sasori frowned from inside Hiruko but none the less obeyed Pein's orders and went back to get a new one. "Fine you stupid little…" Sasori mumbled on his way back.

"I heard that!!!!!!!!" Pein screamed causing Hiruko to break off at a full speed 'run'.

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The boundries of Konoha broke the horizon as the clay bird carrying female puppet Deidara and Tobi. Behind them an origami butterfly flew carrying the zombiefied Akatsuki. Tobi seeing the boudries signaled to bring them down to a clearing. The clearing was about a mile around with long about a foot high grass covering it. The bird and butterfly carefully landed in the field the bird first then the butterfly. Tobi and Deidara were off the bird in a second.

"Ok now me and Deidara will help you off the butterfly carefully, I don't want anymore lost body parts. Cause if we lose something here will probally never find it." Tobi said looking around the tall grass before approaching the butterfly.

Deidara helped Itachi slided off the paper butterfly without breaking anything and moved on to help Zetsu and eventually the air sick, Kakuzu. Tobi helped Kisame, and his sword off the bird.

Hidan frowned as Deidara reached up to grab his hand and help him slide off. "Hell no!" He shouted from up on he butterfly, "I can get off on my own!" Hidan yelled before standing up and jumping off the butterfly roughly. The land causing his foot to snap off and disappear into the tall grass.

"Hidan! You better not have lost a leg!" Kakuzu shouted from a distance away not seeing Hidan's missing foot.

"Eh…No…I…I…didn't…" Hidan trailed off before squatting down and frantically searching the grass for his leg.

"Hidan! What are you looking for!" Kakuzu continued.

"Oh…I ..uhh…lost….uhhh…"

"You did snap off a leg didn't you?!?" Kakuzu screamed as he approached the seaching Hidan and spotted a decaying in the tall grass almost invisibible lying a few feet away from Hidan. "You lost your leg."  
P "No I didn't!" Hidan shouted still looking.

"Oh really?"

"Yes really!"

"Then what is this?" Kakuzu shouted from across the field angrily as he held up Hidan's foot to show him.


End file.
